Healing from Loss and Grief
One thing to keep in mind while grieving is the fact that healing looks different for everyone. While some might heal faster, others might take longer to recover from the devastating effect of loss and grief. To one, healing might mean remembering our loved ones and smiling again. On the other hand, it might mean feeling a sense of relief from the overwhelming emotions experienced by another. You alone know what healing will look like for you. Some factors aid the healing process, including:
Faith: The hope and strength we derive from our faith build resilience. Grief is devastating to anyone. When we are overwhelmed with grief, it can be challenging to think about or feel the love and presence of God. That does not mean He is not there with us. We have an assurance of His love even amid something devastating like losing a loved one. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept because of his deep love for his friend Lazarus and the compassion he felt for his family, who were overwhelmed with grief. Amid our suffering, God surrounds us with His comfort. David reiterates this in Psalms 147:3 - "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Be assured that God's comforting presence dwells within and beside you, even in grief.
Support system: A support system is fundamental in healing from losing a loved one. We need family and friends who can surround us with their support. One of the stress responses our brain navigates to when we experience anything devastating is flight – withdrawal and isolation from everyone. I encourage you to ask and receive the help friends and family offer during this time. Let your friends and family come over. They don't have to say anything. Their presence alone, sitting beside you, holding your hand, listening to you as you cry and talk about your loved one, can be soothing and healing.
Cry if you feel like it. Please do not force down your tears. When stress is built up in our body, crying helps release some of the stress hormone, cortisol, through our tears.
If the emotions become overwhelming persistently, please reach out for professional help. A therapist can help you process your grief and develop coping skills to heal.
Self-compassion. Be easy on yourself. Normalize some of the emotions that you feel. Remind yourself that you feel this way not because you want to or because anything is wrong with you, but because you are grieving your deceased loved one.
Do not put yourself in a box. Grief looks different for everyone. Don't compare yourself to someone else.
Healthy nutrition is essential when we are grieving. Although you might not have an appetite, endeavor to eat small portions of healthy meals to help your brain and body recuperate from the loss.
Take a walk, jog, run, or practice other mild exercises. Studies show that the brain rebuilds and develops new neural pathways when we move our body, facilitating healing after trauma.
Mutual support can be beneficial when we are grieving. You can find a faith-based group at your local church or a conventional mutual support group in your community. You can search for grief support groups near you. Many groups meet online these days since the pandemic, making it easier for you to attend a meeting from the convenience of your home. The good thing about mutual support groups is knowing you are not alone. Some people have experienced similar losses, and sharing your experiences and supporting one another can aid your healing process.
Keep in mind we heal as we grieve, and we heal differently. Your healing might look different from someone else's.
Finally, remember, even though it does not feel like it: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted" (Ps 34: 18a). He is our Healer, our Comforter, and our Help in times of need.
MHR, LPC, LADC/MH, ADSAC Assessor, SYMBIS Facilitator