Understanding the Different Types of Grief

Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming response to loss. It isn’t just about losing a loved one. Grief can emerge from the loss of anything we hold dear, whether it’s a job, an identity, a sense of purpose, or even our physical health. Loss is never something we anticipate, nor is it something we can ever fully prepare for.

Types of Loss That Can Trigger Grief

Grief is not limited to death; it can arise from various forms of loss, each affecting our emotional, physical, and mental well-being in unique ways.

• Loss of Livelihood: Events like the COVID-19 pandemic left millions unemployed, causing financial strain and emotional distress.

• Loss of Identity: Life changes such as divorce, retirement, or becoming an empty nester can make us question who we are.

• Loss of Functionality: Chronic illness or the surgical removal of a body part can change how we navigate the world, leading to a sense of grief.

• Loss of Independence: Aging or degenerative diseases may force us to rely on others for daily tasks, impacting our self-esteem.

• Loss of Security: Financial struggles can leave us feeling unstable and vulnerable.

• Loss of Companionship: Losing a pet, a family member, or a close friend can create a deep void in our lives.

• Loss Due to Death: The passing of a loved one often encompasses multiple layers of grief—loss of identity, security, companionship, and purpose.

Different Forms of Grief

1. Sudden Grief

Losing someone unexpectedly, maybe due to an accident, suicide, overdose, or natural disaster, can be very traumatic. This kind of loss often triggers a psychological and physiological response known as acute stress, where the brain stays in a heightened state of alertness. Without early intervention, this stress can lead to debilitating symptoms such as:

• Disorientation and shock

• Flashbacks and nightmares

• Anxiety and panic attacks

• Depression and negative thoughts

• Irritability and hyper-vigilance (being on high alert for danger)

• Avoidance of people, places, or things that remind us of the loss

2. Anticipatory Grief

This form of grief occurs before an actual loss. It’s common when a loved one has a terminal illness or when someone faces an inevitable job loss. While we may try to remain hopeful, we also feel helpless, uncertain, and emotionally exhausted.

For example, some individuals avoid visiting a terminally ill loved one because they don’t want their last memories to be of someone weak or frail. However, spending time with them during this period can be incredibly meaningful, both for them and for us.

3. Preparatory Grief

Preparatory grief happens when both the individual and their loved ones begin to prepare for death. It often leads to deep conversations, reconciliation, forgiveness, and making peace with the inevitable. Some may even participate in planning their funeral or leaving behind messages for loved ones.

Interestingly, not all anticipatory grief turns into preparatory grief. If someone anticipates losing a job but finds a new opportunity before it happens, the grief is reversed. However, in cases where death is imminent, preparatory grief allows for closure, healing, and an opportunity to say goodbye.

See other topics on grief - Grief Response; The Grieving Process; Healing from Grief; and Finding Hope Amidst Loss and Grief.

Chidi Ndubueze, LPC, LADC/MH, ADSAC Assessor, SYMBIS Facilitator