Chidi Ndubueze, LPC, LADC, ADSAC Assessor

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Finding Hope Amidst Loss and Grief

We will all experience loss and grief at a given point or on several occasions in our lifetime. The loss of a loved one can create a vacuum in our hearts. Although the last thing on our mind when we have just lost someone dear to us is hope, yet hope forms the basis on which we envision the possibility of recovery after a devastating or tragic event.

In our spiritual response to grief, we might question our faith. We might even question God. Why would He allow such an awful thing to happen to us? Why would He allow our loved ones to suffer? We prayed. But if He loves us, why didn't He answer our prayers? It comes naturally to ask questions when we lose a loved one, although most of our questions are unanswered, and this is where some of us begin to seek meaning out of the demise of our loved one. 

We live in a world where evil abides, and the enemy's job is "to steal, to kill, and to destroy". (Jn 10:10 NIV). But God's promise of His presence and comfort is such that the enemy cannot steal or destroy. That means regardless of our pain, whether we can feel His presence or not, He is there with us, fulfilling His promises because His promises are yes and amen (II Cor 1:20).

The story of Jesus and Lazarus, his friend, exemplifies how much God deeply cares about us, especially in times of loss and grief. The death of his friend crushed Jesus to the point that he wept. He felt the pain of losing his friend and had great compassion for his friend's family, who were devastated by the loss of their family member. 

We also see another example of grief with the disciples of Jesus. The disciples were filled with anticipatory grief when they learned about His imminent death. Jesus, full of compassion, would not leave them without making provision for a comforter. Leaving them without comfort would crush their hope. One thing is to lose someone we love dearly; another is to lose hope. If we lose hope, we have lost everything. If we have hope, we can recover from the loss and grief.

Jesus knew they needed hope, and they needed a comforter. With the promise of a comforter came hope. This comfort was not the kind that their friends and family provided but such that would come from Him only. He further promised to leave them His Peace. So before Jesus left, He promised his disciples two things – the comforter and His Peace.

Comfort and peace are two crucial elements in the healing and recovery from loss and grief. Before Jesus got to the house of Lazarus, there were already so many people in the place comforting Mary and Martha, Lazarus' sisters. Before his death, Jesus knew his disciples would experience immense grief, and he also knew they had family and friends that would comfort them. But yet, He promised to send the comforter and His Peace because they would need much more than family and friends alone to recover from the overwhelming grief ahead of them.

In other words, God has already made provision for His comfort and His Peace even before we experience loss. He surrounds us with comfort and peace even when we don't feel it. We do not need our senses of sight, touch, feeling, taste, or hearing to experience the comfort and peace God has promised us in times of sorrow and grief. Hope which is a product of our faith, transcends our senses.

Be encouraged by these verses that illustrate the comforting and peaceful presence of God with us in times of loss and grief:

"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another  Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever" (Jh 14:16 AMP)

"Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] Peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect Peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.] (Jn 14:27 AMP).

See other topics on grief here.